She is at Peace.

As most of you know, my mom passed away on Wednesday Morning 11/3 around 4am. I was still in Chicago. Her caregiver, Catherine, told me she stopped breathing and then had a small breath, stopped, had another small breath and then was gone. When I got to Chicago on Wednesday, they had already taken her to the funeral home. I was thankful that she died at home and not in a hospital.

Today, I went to visit her. I was nervous because funeral homes always give me the hebegeebees. But Julie (Klein), who is like my sister told me that I should go. And she was right. She went with me and held my hand. I needed someone to hold my hand. When we went in and I saw my mom. I started balling. But then, I told her she could leave me alone with my mom.

And so she did. Its hard to believe that this was the last time I will be alone with my mom. Talk about Finality. So, I told her again, that I loved her. Over and over again. As I always did every time I talked to her and saw her. This past 9 months has been difficult and since June 23rd, after her would be stroke, everything in her quality of life changed and continued to go down hill.

It broke my heart and I knew she was trapped. A prisoner in her own body. So when my dad told me she passed away, I actually felt a sense of relief for her. Now she was free of this body and in a better place with God.

I will miss my mom, every minute of everyday. I will miss her smile, her laugh, talking to her everyday. I will miss holding her hand. I will miss spending time with her. I will miss cooking with her. Baking with her. Going to Florida with her. I will miss making parties with her. I will miss my time with her. Yes, I will miss everything about her. She was the best mom, friend, confidant and grandma and we were lucky to have here. When she walked into a room, her smile lit up the room. And that light will be missing forever.

So I did not say goodbye. I couldn't. It was more like, I'll see you when I see you and in the meantime, you will be my side every second of my life. Guiding me, talking to me and watching over me. My very own angel.

And I promised to take care of my dad, my brother and try to keep our extended family together. No matter where I lived.

There are no words to describe how I feel or how much I will miss my mom. Please god, take care of her. She is one of those rare and wonderful people that deserves only the best.

Mom, I love you.